It all started today. This morning actually.
It was a morning like many other — I was sitting in my chair, eating cheetos, listening to Steve Earle. I made a few calls from my office at City Hall and had a few uninspired conversations with my fellow councilors.
I went out to lunch at 12:45. I walked to the burger king near city hall, got 2 double whoppers from burger king and just plopped myself down on the curb, crossed my legs and just dove right in to the greasy soggy mess that was my lunch.
I felt a huge shit coming on, so I walked back to my office (took the elevator 1 floor up). After taking a shit I came back to my computer. To my surprise, several of my internet sensors were blaring — screaming for my attention. I have a 14 LCD monitors at my desk that displays several key areas of the internet and its current status in relation to my life — 13 out of 14 of those monitors were flashing red. Something happened!
There have been so many negative articles written about me on the internet. It is somewhat upsetting to have to defend myself against such baseless accusations. I thought we lived in a civil society — I guess I was wrong.
Tonight I think I’ll end up making risotto with peppers and goats cheese, also with chedder cheese and swiss cheese and blue cheese. I love cheese so fusfcking much. I’ve decided to try the lamb shank marinade another day