Hospital : day 2

Hey folks,

Just checking in. I ended up staying at Etobicoke General overnight. They insisted that they observe my condition even after administering IV based laxative’s and clearing out the intestinal blockage.

They made me promise to never eat an entire block of cheese and melt it in bacon grease to be poured over top of various meats and sausages. Honestly I have no regrets as far as my decisions in the past ~96 hours. As soon as I get home I’m going to shotgun an ice cold old milwaukee and take a long nap in my air conditioned bedroom.

The wife is away at one of her girlfriend’s cottages in the Muskoka region so I have the house to myself once again.

One thing I like to do when lying in my bed is aim the air conditioner vent right in my groin region and spread my legs and let the cool air waft across my hot sticky thighs. Its the most refreshing feeling I have ever experienced. Sometimes I fall asleep and that area of my body gets extremely cold so I sometimes lay several vibrating objects (phones, wii controllers) across my inner thighs and let them continue to vibrate while the cold air touches my clammy skin. This usually continues for several hours until I am finished.

Technically I am allowed to leave the hospital, but I was hoping to receive some flowers and get-well cards during my stay here so I think I’ll wait around a little longer to see what happens.

I’ll update you again later today.





  1. I’m going to pick up some flowers this afternoon from Cloverdale mall for you. I’ll drop them off at the hospital so hopefully you’re still there when I arrive. I also have a portable air conditioner to bring so you’ll feel more at home.

    1. Thanks Gordo. I’m still here at the hospital — I’m still waiting for flowers and well-wishers but no one’s coming. I have nothing else to do today but I’m looking forward to being in my own bed / feeling the air conditioning on my inner thighs & groin area.

  2. Mr. Ford, I just listened to some of the comments you made at your most recent press conference with Pastor Wendell Brereton. Thanks for FINALLY sticking up for us taxpaying traditional fundamentalist families for a change!!! I just feel that more and more, it never seems like we ever get our voices heard, we’re the REAL minority, not these other minorities.

    May God Bless You.

    Eternally yours

    1. Sometimes my wife catches me softly crying in our bathroom late at night — the pain I feel for the wasted dollars within our city hurts us good tax paying Christians.

      I pray to god on a regular basis to give me guidance and I believe as mayor I can lead our city to the path of righteousness.

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